Friday, September 5, 2014

BACK THE BOT CAMPAIGN REVISITED

  http://www.coralbots.org/

The Great Namazu, Giant Japanese Catfish former demigod now lead analysts for AAB.

 Greeting Bipeds:
  The summer before last we were trying to help raise funds for a very worthwhile project known as the CORALBOT. We posted many pitches for support and found we had the best results with humor.
We called the series of posts BACK THE BOT. The editors tell me that my little missive below was the most clicked on and humorous in the series. Due to all the gloom and doom coming out of the ISIS/ISl crisis and our posts related to the appearance of these demonic hordes, the editors thought the daily post could use a little comic relief. Over 100,000 of you weren't regular visitors in 2013 and probably haven't seen this. Stick with it, not only will you learn about swarm robotics in oceanographic use but we give you a free blueprint for picking up way classier women than you may be used to. If you are a woman, reading this will help you to not get taken in by the best pick up system ever detailed for the slick and insincere.


BACK THE BOT!

SEEKING A WHOLE NEW CLASS OF SPONSOR


CALLING SINGLE JOE SIX PACKS-IMPROVE YOUR IMAGE AND SOCIAL LIFE- BACK THE BOT!

 For any of you who have not tuned in during the last two weeks what that is pictured above is one version of a future "CoralBot". These are very small self propelled and self directed diving robots designed to help repair coral reefs.  In past blog spots we've described how coral reef repair is a proven concept. We have learned a lot about coral's powers of regeneration after damage from anchors, bottom trawls, groundings, dynamite fishing, and storms. Repair works but is diver labor intensive, and some deep corals and cold water corals can't be reached by divers. The Coral Bot changes all that. While diving robots are not new what is new about the CoralBot and what requires research and experimental funding is its level of artificial intelligence and robot to robot communication needed to do the intended job. This is artificial intelligence or "AI" on the cutting edge of the technology. This is "Swarm" or "Hive" AI. It can be done but its going to take funds.

 We have also introduced our readers to how this same technology can improve the economics of waterway and ocean bottom trash removal. However as we have noted, nearly all ocean remedial work is being carried out by small volunteer and academic efforts. Governments may pass anti pollution laws, but no one except the people are actually cleaning up. This is why projects like the CoralBot http://www.coralbots.org/  and the Rozalia Project http://www.rozaliaproject.org/ need donations from the general public. And this is why we're addressing you, Joe Six Pack.

 Right now you are asking your self why you should care, much less donate when you have little interest in coral reefs or the sea floor and no interest in swarm robotics. Well consider this who do you think picks up a better class of hot babes, an "Oceanographic Robotics Philanthropist" or You? For less than the price of two mixed drinks a month in a cheap bar we are going to show you how to obtain that title and utilize it to vastly improve your social life. 

DISCLAIMER: When we say "we" in the above paragraph we mean the motley staff of ex-sailors who did the research here at American Admiralty Books, and not any one connected to the CoralBot project. The CoralBot project team is a bunch of scientist, some based in the UK with British accents and proper academic demeanor who are not very experienced with the sometimes rough trade of parting people from some of their money. Some of our our staff on the other hand have actually been officially labeled by their prior naval superiors as part of a "Sinister quasi organization of painted faced , cammie clad pirates" . Joe, we understand you at your lewdest and crudest". We've got a deal for you. 

Photo This is Jeri Ryan, you might recognize her from her present series Body of Evidence or in her role as "7 of 9", a "Borg" on Star Trek Voyageur  Jeri "backs the bot:, in fact it was on her Google Circles  site, https://plus.google.com/u/0/+JeriRyan/posts  thanks to a note from an astute visitor to our own, that we learned about the CoralBot in the first place. Our point in bringing Jeri Ryan's image into the discussion dude is simply to illustrate with one famous example that hot, smart women "back the bot.". So there you are on your favorite stool at Harry's bar and in walks someone with the depicted level of class and takes a seat a bar stool away. What are you going to open with ? Hi What's your sign? LAME! Pardon me mam, I'm new in town can you show me the way to your house?  Dude go to the back of the class and assume the dunce position! With women of this caliber that won't even get you a grunt in response she's headed for the far end of the bar or even out the door the instant you open your mouth. But what if you opened with "do you back the bot? That should at least net you a "what did you say"?  Where upon you introduce your self with: " I'm sorry I'm Joe Sixpack an Oceanographic Robotics Philanthropist" I'm trying to drum up support for my favorite coral reef restoration project. Now you reach for your smart phone and move towards her with "Could I get you to look at a short video on my favorite artificial intelligence project for marine robots for just a minute. If you were smart, before you pulled this move you pulled the CoralBot site up in advance so there is no fumbling about trying to pull up the site. So as you move closer and hand her your smart phone she should be looking straight at the opening video. There is a talking head on that video who will hold her attention, a smart, hot woman scientist with a lilting British accent. You, Joe Sixpack need to shut up at this point and let her listen as the good doctor explains all the difficult scientific concepts. Where you normally couldn't get closer than a bar stool's width and hold her attention more than six seconds you've now held her attention for more than six minutes without once revealing your self for the lewd, crude, one thing in mind creature that you actually are. Now for your next move as she hands you your smart phone back you say, Could I get you to look at just one more related video? Now you key in http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/restoring-coral-reefs-with-robots or the current CoralBot project on line fund raiser and let her hear the pitch. You're now going on 12 minutes without her bolting the bar stool. You haven't really said that much but a lot of really classy smart people on your cell phone have said a lot of interesting things, some of that aura is starting to envelope you covering your actual nasty brutish nature with a thin veneer of smarts and class. Don't blow it, stay focused. After she hands you back your cell phone put it away, take a deep breath and prepare for phase 2.  

 Now you announce that "I'm not rich as most Philanthropist, I can't fund this effort with just my monthly contributions, but I can help fund raise. If I were to buy you your drink and then another would you consider sending the savings to the CoralBot project, and then donating roughly the equivalent of two cheap drinks or one slightly pricey one , about $15  about every three months as new fund raisers are posted to Indiagogo? You should now be about 15 minutes into the encounter and if she says yes, and many will, you have reached in 15 minutes a milestone that you usually never reach. Basic psychology 101 dude. When you ask a stranger for a favor and they do it, within seconds of agreeing to do it they are subconsciously asking themselves "why did did I agree to that?" The most common answer Dude is, "because I like that person, I don't know  why but I just like him." Every really successful salesman knows this. So while you did a good thing and won a supporter for the CoralBot you also got your target to actually convince her self that she likes you. Now don't blow it. Classy women hate liars and insincerity, they can spot it a mile off. So we are going to show you how for a cost of about two drinks a month you can become a verifiable "Oceanographic Robotics Philanthropist".  

 First off if you actually donate to the CoralBot project on a regular basis you are donating to an "oceanographic robotics" project. People who donate regularly to public spirited causes are called "Philanthropists". The term is not copy righted and this is not a licensed profession it is an avocation not tied to a particular level of donation by definition but by regularity of donations. When you donate at that first two drink level (minimum $15) your name goes on the "Backers" tab at the CoralBots site. So if Ms Wonderful pulls out her own smart phone to check you out there you are. At this level you also get a certificate of appreciation. Frame it and put it on the ego wall back at your pad. Give the two drink amount every month that a funds drive is up on Indiegogo and then keep it up each time a new drive appears. For $25 they will do all of the above and put your name in tiny letters somewhere on a future bot. For only $250, far less than the cost of one lost weekend you could get your picture on the website and your personal computer could be harnessed for support of the project. That's some portion of your computer's memory linked into a network, you don't have to know or do anything. Now the next time you use the ought to be patented "CoralBot hook up" approach you could actually claim to not only be an Oceanographic Robotics Philanthropist  but also a "computer capacity sponsor. "  Not a single outright lie involved for the price of a lost week end and a couple of drinks a month.

 Now don't blow it once you have that hot babe's commitment to donate you know she has convinced herself that somehow she actually likes you. So don't blow it, keep the conversation on the bot and don't press for a one night stand, make a full blown dinner date for later in the week. Be cool don't reveal your single minded nature now that you've gotten this far. When there are no hot women present practice making the donate to the CoralBot case to some of the guys, especially fishermen. It will help perfect your pitch and cover your tracks. When the occasional hot babe sees right through you , you should come off as having failed at your public service spirited solicitation, and not as a loser who is constantly shot down. The key to this game plan is that you must be a real regular two drink monthly contributor. Trying to fake it won't work and there is another reason that you don't want to fake it:

 Meet the warehouse crew we hired last Christmas for the Christmas rush:


Front: Bruno, against the wall: Vic, Ratso, Febber, Mangy, and Skeet
Below, their mugs before they went in the joint:


      

                   VIC                         RATSO                                         FEBBER
     

  Mangy      
                                                                  Skeet (Crime artist's sketch)         Bruno

These guys will be out cruising the bars and nightspots looking for unauthorized users of our ought to be patented CoralBot hook up approach. This powerful insight has been given to you free of charge in the public interest of turning you into a more interesting person, delaying the disillusionment of any classy women who have the misfortunes to run into you, and to convert some of that alcohol money out there into a useful cause. Don't try this approach without first making that minimum $15 pledge to Coral Bots.....its makes Ratso very unhappy when guys do that.

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