Thursday, February 13, 2014



Editor's note: Originally written in the spring of 2013 in anticipation of hurricane season, worth reviewing as hurricane season 2016 approaches.

 It will be spring in just a few weeks on the U.S. Gulf Coast which was brushed several times in the s winter of 2013 with dips in the steering currents that visited the region with a little frost and below average temperatures ( which trust me you'd kill for those temps in a New England or Michigan winter) ; the winters of 2014 NS 2015 were warmer than average, which means warmer Gulf water temperatures. Hurricane season won't be far behind spring. In advance of hurricane season we always like to pay a little attention to building codes on the coastal plains. Namazu addressed building codes right after the "FRANKENSTORM" .  He also introduced us to his cousin Jack who has a similar function to Namazu off of the U.S. Gulf and Southern East Coasts.Thankfully you can ignore the weather prediction that is built into this post , it proved all too accurate but presently we have nothing current in the way of weather predictions to offer. But what Namazu said back then is just as true today. So we decided to save ourselves the cost of an international hydrophone call to the Great Catfish and just reprint his last article on the subject- Johnas Presbyter, editor

Friday, November 2, 2012


 NAMAZU SPEAKS: Uh....about Jack                                                                

 Hi it's Namazu again, no introduction, old Guy(og)  doesn't even know I'm in the building. Something came to my attention that I thought you ought to know. First I thought I'd show you another picture from the bad old days. That's me of course the old giant earth shaker catfish in the center. The guy standing on my back with a sword at my brain is Kashima, the god I told you about who retired to Pebble Beach on an early pension. Notice that unlike the picture yesterday the people aren't poking and hacking at me, They are reaching out and gently touching me. With that old rascal Kashima holding a sharp pointed sword to my brain you know I'm not going to wiggle and I even appreciate the more friendly demeanor of the people. This is how people feel about weather systems when the climate has been benign for quite a while. The people didn't really hate me for being a giant catfish who had to wiggle and whose wiggles caused coastal earth quakes and giant waves. But they really didn't want the  disturbing weather and seismic events. But as you know from yesterday Keshima went for coffee and I took a wiggle and the people finally decided to not rely on Keshima or on me not to wiggle and started building some very sensible houses that we showed you yesterday. What with me behaving normally now the waves do come occasionally and homes are wrecked but they are rebuilt quickly and cheaply.

 Yesterday I introduced you to my cousin Jack the giant catfish who produces hurricanes and tidal waves along the U.S. East and Gulf Coasts. I explained that Feds don't know Jack. But the old Cajuns did and devised an architecture that like that of Japan held up well in the real world of the humid subtropics. I also revealed that Jack occasionally takes human form and walks Bourbon Street in New Orleans where only the old Cajuns recognize him , the regular folk, well they don't know Jack.  As I write this now Jack is in human form and sitting in the Preservation Hall enjoying some vintage jazz. As 3,000 year old mythological giant catfish we enjoy classic stuff. But Jack told me something you should know even if you don't know Jack.

(Editor's Note: The following weather predictive paragraph was written more than several years ago and does not address any current weather event) 

 Nanook that old bear god of the far northern Canadian western continental shield is pawing up some snow and ice and the radical dip in the jet stream is going to carry some cold air far far south. It might go into the upper forties on Bourbon street by about Tuesday night. Jack is going to resume giant catfish form by Sunday night and you can expect him to be wiggling into the warm sea bottom mud off the Carolinas by Wednesday and by Thursday, remember you heard it here first where we do know Jack, rough seas and high winds will again pommel the already prostrate coastal communities of the North East.  Some who have restored power now will lose it again. It won't be nearly as bad as Frankenstorm but it isn't going to help the recovery effort.

 Now you're probably wondering how a giant earthshaking catfish can be sending you an e-mail. Like Jack I can take human form too on rare occasions. When I do I look just like Keshima who for a god looks remarkably like a rather frail old man. I'm here in the AAB office using Og's computer and the few late workers just think I'm cheeky cleaning staff. Look, as 3,000 year old earth shaking mythological catfish we tried yesterday to  tell you about whats wrong with the building code these feds who don't know Jack keep imposing after each time Jack wiggles. There is something else that has changed over time since jack first appeared in the Gulf. When the native Americans lived on the coastal plain they were content to let Jack wiggle. Their homes could be easily rebuilt and with their flint and tinder boxes they were individually energy self sufficient. Then European man, who didn't know Jack came and started cities along the coast and about 120 years ago started energizing them distributing energy through a grid. In home design today you guys never put in any grid independent lighting , heating, and cooling features. Even disposing human waste is on a grid. The prior populations as recently as 1890 had more functionally independent homes. Grids are great they bring cheap high energy to homes allowing for the use of all sorts of modern gadgets. But every human dwelling should have some passive and independent cooling and heat features, a secure independent temporary water supply sufficient for a good 15 days worth of cooking, drinking and bathing. Every home should have some non grid dependent lighting and an off grid cooking system. These should be designed right in from the start and not require a lot of thought or maintenance. 

 Look we , both of us, Jack and old Namazu,  we know Al Gore has taught you that American industrial productivity has brought on climate change. He might even be right, but he don't know Jack. Jack has seen the weather over 3,000 years and he knows it changes over a fairly wide range , hey a catfish has gotta wiggle right?  Jack has seen cultures come and go from the Coastal plains. He has seen some that could handle the weather and some that were wiped out. He thinks over reliance on a utility grid is what will cause the present group to pull back 100 miles off the coast because they can't think outside the box, color outside the lines, or get off the grid. Feds who never knew Jack keep driving local governments as a condition of receipt of federal money to adopt ever more expensive, grid dependent building codes and zoning rules.  

 Look cousin Jack doesn't mean you any harm. He is just a giant earth shaking catfish who needs to wiggle. And he is gonna wiggle again next week so get ready I've warned you. But the answer to living with a force of nature like Jack is learning about Jack. When Jack speaks his  vision of the weather is 3,000 years deep. He has no human cultural bias. He is telling you the hard truth. Look, who you gonna listen to; a 3,000 year old Catfish or Al Gore? If you answered Al Gore, you really don't know Jack.

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